


Psycho with Princess Leia

by Gcgraywriter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Halloween Costumes, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:33:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22409509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gcgraywriter/pseuds/Gcgraywriter
Summary: In response to a request regarding Neville and Harry's birthdays... Some people think "Wow, Neville could have been The Chosen One," Whilst others, myself included think "Whoa, The Potters and the Longbottoms must have gone wild at the Halloween party at Sirius & Remus's flat..." (formally titled Hosts with the Mosts)
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 13
Kudos: 34





	Psycho with Princess Leia

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SonnenFlower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonnenFlower/gifts).



> Thank you to the guys in the Hermione's Nook chat that gave me the inspiration for this specifically Sonnenflower. Also thank you to NicoDiAngeloLover7 for beta-ing it and making sure it made sense :)

Lily stood leaning against the wall as she took in the room. It was a small flat, but Sirius and Remus had made sure that it had all the essential things; a seemingly never-ending drinks cabinet, a record player and every friend they knew. 

It was All Hallows Eve, so instead of the usual group of gangly twenty-somethings, monsters and tv stars filled the room. Lily rubbed face as she felt the room spin a bit. The punch that Sirius had made up was probably more alcoholic than most of what the Leaky Cauldron sold all mixed together. She took another swig and pulled a face. Merlin, it was strong. 

“Hey, Padfoot. What in Merlin’s name is in this punch!?” Sirius’s typically shaggy hair was pulled to the side in a couple of round buns. He stood up, leaving Marlene giggling as he swished over in his white gown and gun. 

“Oh, you know, a bit of this and a bit of that.” He smirked as he pushed the gun over his shoulder and readjusted one of the buns. “Why, feeling tipsy?” He asked as he waggled his eyebrows at her. 

“Maybe.” She giggled as the fake ears slipped from her head. “Don’t tell James.”

“If I know Prongs, he’s already well on his way to being tipsy himself.” He smirked as he looked around the busy room. “You seen Franks outfit?” He asked, looking away. 

“What? No! Is he?” she asked, not able to complete her sentence. 

“Yep,” Sirius nodded with a snigger. 

“Oh, Look at Alice. I get it now!” Lily laughed as the couple entered through the door. 

“What is she?”

“A Mandrake root,” Lily said before she took another swig. 

“Professor sprout and a Mandrake root.” Sirius shook his head. “That’s just genius.” He swigged his drink before melting away into giggles dragging Lily with him.

“I hope you’re not making moves of my Deer wife.” Came the smooth if slightly uneven voice of another man. Lily straightened and rolled her eyes. 

“Now, what have I said about the deer puns, love?”

“That they are now and will forever be the funniest thing on four legs?” James slurred slightly as he hooked his arm around her shoulder and planted a kiss on her mouth.

His antlers fell off, causing them all to burst into laughter again. 

“Is there giggle water in this?” Lily asked, trying to be serious. She could feel her straight face cracking as she looked at Sirius. He nodded breathlessly as he wiped tears from his eyes. 

“Where’s Pete and Moony?” 

“Pete’s with Mckinnon, I think he came as an Italian muggle plumber or something,” Sirius shook his head in confusion as he pointed to the man in question sitting awkwardly on the sofa in blue dungarees and the red shirt. “Moony is still getting ready.”

“What’s he coming as?” Sirius shrugged as he went to reach for more punch from the nearby table. 

“He couldn’t decide.”

The room at the far end went quiet, drawing their attention. Lily watched as Remus walked from their bedroom in nothing but sleeked back wet hair, a clear shower curtain and bubbles placed in convenient places. 

“Remus-?” She asked as she watched him walk towards her. 

“Who are you supposed to be?” James asked

“Oh, of course.” He pulled his wand from somewhere and pointed it at an empty cup. When the cup shrivelled up and transfigured into a bloody knife, the penny dropped. 

“Of very clever, Remi!” Lily laughed. 

Remus attached the bloody knife to the shower curtain and smiled in triumph. 

“Hey, Lupin, Nice moon,” Marlene called with a woof whistle. The room erupted into good-natured humour as Remus turned around. 

“Why thank you, Marlene. Your garden gnome outfit is perfect.”

“Hey! I’m a cave troll!” Marlene pouted before laughing. 

Remus turned back with a smile as he looked at them. 

“Hey, love, I thought you were getting me a drink?” Sirius stood open-mouthed as he looked at his lover. 

“Here, Remi.” Lily offered as she passed him a drink. 

“Drink up, love; I’m about to go ‘Psycho’ on your arse!” Sirius said as he pulled Remus back to the bedroom. “See you guys later,” Sirius called as he sashayed away, every inch an intergalactic princess. 

“Well,” James said with a smirk. “That’s something I didn’t need to hear.”

“Better turn the music up, love.” Lily giggled as James leant over and twiddled the volume control. 

The steady guitar rifts poured through the speakers as James leant closer. Lily, smelling the alcohol on his breath, grinned. They’ve been working so hard with the Order that this had been the first time in months where they could let loose. The flat was unplottable, so they were safe. She took another long swig of her punch as she tucked her arm around her husband's backside, giving it a hard squeeze. James almost choked on his drink before looking down at her, His eyes were unfocused, but she could still see the lust in them.  
“Can I help you, Evans?” He slurred as he leant down. 

“Did you bring your cloak, Potter?” She asked coyly before nuzzling her face into his neck. 

“I may have stowed it away somewhere close by.” He sighed “Why? What dangerous, death-defying mission am I about to undertake.”

“I thought that you could, maybe, grab yourself some doe.” She smirked, cringing at her own pun. 

“Merlin, Evan? Did you just make a deer pun?”

“I think Padfoot has put something other than alcohol in the punch.” She felt the first stirring of lust tingling down her spine as James caught her lips with his. She sighed into the kiss as she gripped his costume to pull him closer. She opened her mouth slightly so that their tongues could touch. He growled at that and pushed his hand int her hair. 

“Merlin, Will you lot stop snogging! Am I the only one not wanting to suck face tonight?” Marlene’s voice broke through the lust-filled haze. 

Lily saw that Alive and Frank pulled away from each other too, both red-faced and flustered. 

“If she isn’t kissing Peter, then it’s all on us and not the punch, Love,” James muttered as they pulled away from each other. 

Lily hit him gently but smirked as she went to refill her cup.

~~~

Frank leant forward as his skirt gathered up his thighs. He was starting to regret the costume choice as Pomona Sprout always seemed to wear layers. All that time in greenhouses in the highland winters he suspected. 

Alice was pushed firmly against his side on the small sofa, and he could hear the moans and noises coming from the room next door, despite the volume on the record player going up. Something about the idea of making love in public stirred him, causing him to shift slightly. Alice pressed closer against him. Her brown eyes wide as she looked around the room. She turned to him and smiled, a blush dusting her freckled cheeks. 

They had been married for a couple of years, but he still looked at her as though he was looking at her for the first time. Their first end of year party at Hogwarts. He could remember it like it was yesterday. 

She’d stood there looking lost as her friends were asked to dance. He sat there, downing a drink as he tried to gather the courage to speak to her. After some cajoling from his mates, he had stood up, walked over and tripped, landing firmly at her feet. The rest, as they say, was history and they had been devoted to each other ever since. 

He winked at her, and she grinned and winked. He felt a hot flush rush up his neck. She motioned for him to come closer. He did and shivered as her lips caught his ear. 

“I think tonight maybe a good temperature night.” He waited for a second for the thought to permeate. He pulled back suddenly and looked at her. She blushed and nodded. 

“Why didn’t you say before we left?” He asked incredulous. 

“Thought we could come to the party first.” She blushed further, and Frank thought of something filthy. 

“Well, we don’t have to leave” He whispered into her ear. She turned beetroot red as he pulled away. She looked at him and nodded, just the minutest of motions, but he knew that she understood his meaning. 

He waited a moment before standing up. 

“Just popping to the loo.” He announced as he disappeared down the far corridor. He stepped into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. His hands started to sweat as he waited for her to follow. 

A few moments later, there was a knock at the door. He felt his pulse spike as he called out. 

“I’m in here.” There was giggling, and then footsteps as the people on the other side went away.

He waited a few more minutes when another knock came. 

“I’m in here.”

“It’s me.” A whispered reply came. He jumped off the closed toilet seat in a rush to unlock the door. 

She pushed through the door, the baggy, brown trousers of her costume catching on the door. He groaned as she pushed herself against the door again, closing and locking it. 

“Come here.” He demanded as they rushed together. 

They had been trying for children for what felt like years. They were starting to lose hope of ever achieving that dream. Alice had been checking her temperature daily.  
Tonight was the night; he could feel it. He tried to look past the ugly costume and tried not to smirk at the hilarity of it as he pushed his skirt and tights down his legs.  
Alice giggled as she too pushed down her bottoms. They pressed together as they let their bodies move the way they had done so many times before. 

Frank picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He pushed her against the wall as he kissed her furiously. She groaned into the kiss as he found his target. He moaned too as he was enveloped in the heat at her core. He pulled her down with her shoulders, keeping her pinned to the wall. He pressed his lips to her neck as he started to build up the rhythm. 

“Oh, Frank!” She called out, and he smothered her mouth with his again. He didn’t want the party to hear them. He felt a thrill of excitement, knowing that they were only inches from everyone. He thrust harder into his wife as he felt spurred on. 

He grunted as he felt the pressure building. The situation had built everything up; he needed to slow down and give Alice a chance to catch up. He let out a breath of frustration as she slowed to a stop. Every fibre wanted to drive into her until that blinding moment of release, but he wanted to meet her there. 

“Why did you stop?” she asked, her face looking concerned. 

“I’m close, Pumpkin.”

“Ok, we’ll go slow.” She nodded as she patted his shoulder. “I’ve got an idea. Lie down on the floor.” He let her get down and followed her instructions. 

~~~

“Shush!” James giggled as he led Lily down the corridor. Lily sniggered loudly as they knocked on the door of the bathroom. 

“I’m in here.” A voice came back. 

“Shit!” James muttered. “Looks like it’s the box room for us.” Lily giggled again and squeezed his bum. 

“Let’s go already!” 

“Alright, alright!” James chuckled as he led her down the corridor. Once there, he pushed hard against the door. 

“Merlin, Gandalf and Dumbledore!” He cursed as the door finally gave way. 

“Wow, when you said the box room, you really meant it!” Lily said as she took in the boxes which were stacked floor to ceiling against the walls. 

“It Moony’s books mostly,” James replied as he shut the door behind them. They stood in silence for a second. The darkness hung thick in the air. “Now, where were we?” James growled as he pounced. 

Lily squealed as James captured her in a warm embrace, pressing his lips against hers. Slowly the heat built between them again and Lily started to paw at his clothes. 

“Now, now Evans. You said I could grab me some doe, so are you going to do what I tell you for a change?” He heard her huff slightly as she pouted. 

“Ok.” She said playfully with a fake frown. 

“Now, If I’m in charge, we’re doing this my way. Get on your hands and knees.” She blinked at him for a moment before a grin broke out on her face. 

“Yes, Sir, Mr Potter, Sir!” She said with a salute. 

He watched as she lowered herself onto the floor, her bottom facing him. He groaned with need as he knelt behind her. 

He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her tights and pulled them down, slowly exposing the plump globes of her bottom. He gently bit down, hard enough to leave faint teeth marks. She hissed but didn’t move. 

He repeated the action with her underwear leaving her bare to the air. 

“Hurry, James. I want you!” She whined, and James felt a thrill of lust rush to his groin. He loved it when she begged. 

“Are you going to beg for it?” He asked playfully as he pulled his costume down. 

“Please, James, Please.” She whimpered as he stroked her skin. 

“How much do you want it?” She pushed herself back, rubbing herself against him. 

“I want you so bad.” He bit his lip hard as he tried to keep a level head. 

Unable to keep away any longer, he pushed in slowly, drawing a hiss from his mouth and a moan from hers. Once fully seated, he pulled out entirely and thrust deep. He swore under his breath as his eyes closed. The sensation of her so hot around him, almost too much to bear. He gripped her hips and started to pull her back to meet his thrusts.  
A strangled whine fell from her as he started to pick up speed. 

“Oh, you feel so good, Lils” James said, and he gripped her hair. 

She moaned hungrily as she thrust herself back hard. He swore as she pushed him over the edge. He pulled her back a couple of times and felt relieved when he heard her pant. He held her firmly against him as their climax passed.

“Did you?” He asked as she sank bonelessly to the floor. 

“mmhm,” She replied. He smiled as he fell onto the floor after her. They lay there for a moment as they caught their breath when a loud crash made them jump up. They dressed quickly and pulled the door open. A crowd had gathered outside of the bathroom. Sirius and Remus stood there looking thoroughly dishevelled and tired. 

“Are you guys alright in there?”

“Yeah,” Frank replied thinly. 

“What happened?” 

“N-nothing.” He replied through the door. 

“Right, I’m coming in.”

“No, Don’t!” He cried as Sirius aimed his wand at the door. There was a flash, and the door opened. 

There was a moment of silence before Remus started to laugh.

“What happened?” James asked as they pulled up the rear. 

“Sirius wasn’t the only one to get caught up in a shower curtain,” Marlene replied with a smirk before she looked them both up and down. “You might want to straighten your antlers, Potter.” She grinned before turning around and heading back to the living room. 

“I’m so sorry, Remus,” Frank muttered

“Sorry, Sirius.” Alice cried. 

“Shush, don’t worry” Remus cooed. “We just want you to name your child after us, that’s all.”

James peered in to find a very red-faced Frank and Alice, surrounded in debris where the shower curtain and rail had fallen on them. 

“Remus Longbottom has a certain ring to it.” He smirked as he stood, blocking the rest of the view from the doorway. “Or Sirius Remus Longbottom for that matter.”

“I can hear it now, ‘Son, you were named after the two greatest hosts that your mother and I have ever known’ I’m going to hold you to it,” Sirius warned as he pushed passed Remus to head back to the living room. 

“Welcome back; you two, same rules apply” Remus winked as they left Frank and Alice to sort themselves out. 

“I can’t wait to tell the healers in nine months, how these little miracles came to be.” Sirius crooned. 

James looked at Lily and rolled their eyes. The chances of them getting pregnant were slim. They grinned before heading back over to get some more punch. 

How wrong could they be?


End file.
